Toasted.

I'm feeling burnt out. Since I am doing favors to Marc by covering some of his responsiblities here and otherwise, and I haven't been getting all the sleep I want, a general apathy about classes hit me hard today. I was brain dead through the kindergarden classes, coasting through songs and repeating storybooks by memory.

I couldn't keep classes under control. When it got out of hand before, it was more like "Let's enjoy the ride." and tried to keep a moderate bit of sanity in the room. I didn't feel too many consequences if something got out of hand, as long as the kids showed progress with their reading. Now that Marc and Carey are going to be gone, I have to keep this ship afloat as best I can, so when I feel the class slipping out of my hands I am getting progressively more worried.

Teaching the same kid repeated how to read, or the same phonics sound repeatedly, and never seeing progress is exhausting. I'd describe it as trying to run through a brick wall. After you bash at it long enough by running at it head on, you'll begin to see light on the other side. Once you do, the wall comes down quickly and you are off and running.

The problem is getting that wall to start to crumble. It's bearable if the child is willing to help you and wants to learn. You can't teach someone that isn't willing to learn, and I have several students that I would describe in this way. It is one of the most absolutely frustrating and exhausting experiences I have ever encountered.

The exhaustion is starting to catch up with me. I'm really looking forward to a vacation right about now.