I made sure I got up early in time to make the tour, as this was the first day we were able to actually go to the beach. The beach near the hotel wasn't lighted, and I was simply too exhausted to check it the previous night. We loaded onto the bus, and were taken to a gathering point for speedboats on a nearby beach that would ferry us across to our destination.

Of course, before we could reach the beach we first had to get off the boat at an artificial island in the middle of the bay and be bothered by the people selling the para-sailing portion of our "options" package. Since the tour guides, the boat operators, and the para-sailing managers all got a cut of the overpriced experience, and had us basically trapped on an island, I expected a lot more pressure, but when I declined because of the cost no one bothered me. Two of the Korean teachers I went with both went up and got dragged around by the boat for 5 minutes at about 10 (USD) a minute.

After the para-sailing we were taken across the bay to Coral Island. The sea was a little rough, but it jarred everyone's abdominal muscles with a rhythmic "whump" as we jumped from wave to wave. We got out of the boat, got some really good seats, and were again given a sales pitch by our Tour guide. This time it was for an underwater photograph you could have taken while wearing a diving bell that looked straight out of a Looney Toons cartoon. I didn't even stick around for him to start with the explanation of the cost before I was in the water.

I was by far the strongest swimmer in the group so most of the hour and a half we spent at the beach was keeping my fellow travel companions from drowning or drifting away in their inner-tubes. I managed to step on sea urchins with a disturbing regularity, which would illicit a curse from me and a surprised look from everyone else.

No sooner had I gotten out of the water, gotten myself a Singha beer, and was starting to relax when the tour guide told us to pack up and get ready to move on to our next destination. Since I was basically S.O.L. without a way to get back to the island where my tour was staying, short of hiring a private boat myself, I had to leave the beach with them.

All the time I was thinking to myself: "Er, excuse me? I'm at the beach, and I've been here under two hours. What other destination could there be better than this in Thailand that requires us to leave so soon?"

"The answer, my friend is Latex."

Yes, KT Latex to be exact. After eating at another Korean restaurant, we were hauled to the KT Latex factory showroom and were ushered into a small office. Here the tour was told the many important qualities of latex, and the superior qualities of Korean KT Latex. It was so superior, they felt they could justify the price of 60 dollars (USD) for a Latex Foam pillow!

I got taken off the beach to be sold overpriced foam pillows and eat Korean food again? What....the....fuck? I think I might have been disrupting the salesman's pitch, but perhaps the other people could hear what he was saying over my grinding teeth. I put on headphones and tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible by reading a book, but I was absolutely fuming that I had gotten suckered into leaving the tour for this horse and pony show.

We didn't just get screwed once either. We had to go "gem shopping" as well. We were taken to a fairly nondescript building that claimed "ISO 9000-2000 certified Gem sales". After a short video the tour was led around and shown the various processes in making a piece of jewelry. I declined the tour out of principal and read some more of my book while I waited for their return. I think my tour guide was starting to get worried that my lack of participation in this very obvious scam would spread to everyone else in the tour.

I was still pissed about the whole affair when we went to "Mini-Siam", a miniature monument park, which reeked a tacky, touristy sort of stench a mile away. For some reason people go to this place to look at what are basically oversized put put golf course obstacles, and this somehow became a mandatory stop on our tour. I was not impressed.

But, we did get to see a few of the better things on our trip later that night....