Comments on: Take a chill pill. http://blog.torgodevil.com/archives/493 Crunky! This is a blog about an English teacher living in South Korea. Thu, 20 Nov 2008 08:43:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: ::A Geek in Korea:: » Blog Archive » It’s not always about the money. http://blog.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-3007 ::A Geek in Korea:: » Blog Archive » It’s not always about the money. Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:35:13 +0000 http://www.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-3007 [...] I told them that when I was renewing my contract last year I was struggling at work because I had a fallout with one of the Korean teachers months before I was supposed to resign and I didn’t want to continue working with her. The [...] [...] I told them that when I was renewing my contract last year I was struggling at work because I had a fallout with one of the Korean teachers months before I was supposed to resign and I didn’t want to continue working with her. The [...]

]]> By: torgodevil http://blog.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2677 torgodevil Sat, 09 Jun 2007 13:06:16 +0000 http://www.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2677 My wife, after hearing my story, called the director. From what we gathered from the woman's side of the story, she claimed I stole books off her desk to sabotage her (NOT TRUE). If there were any other problems about me or my teaching style, my director didn't know of them. The official advice from my director is this, "Women are sometimes very sensitive. Just ignore it when women can't control their emotions." That's a stunning blow for feminism from my female director. It seems that my director had planned to pull me aside and talk to me about what happened on Monday, after I had a good few days to stew about it. We HAD an awesome head teacher, who moved to another school. I sent her a message about the incident. There was a response from her saying, "That woman is just a sensitive control freak. Ignore her. If you quit, that school with have HUGE PROBLEMS." I'm feeling good about that. I had a very long chat with my wife about what happened. She was very supportive and said that if I wasn't being treated with some respect, she would understand if I wanted to quit and find another place to work when we got back from vacation. I'm planning to tell my director in my meeting that if the coworker starts yelling again when I'm just doing my job while the director is present and my director won't moderate the discussion or try to calm down my coworker, that will be my last day. My wife, after hearing my story, called the director. From what we gathered from the woman’s side of the story, she claimed I stole books off her desk to sabotage her (NOT TRUE). If there were any other problems about me or my teaching style, my director didn’t know of them.

The official advice from my director is this, “Women are sometimes very sensitive. Just ignore it when women can’t control their emotions.” That’s a stunning blow for feminism from my female director. It seems that my director had planned to pull me aside and talk to me about what happened on Monday, after I had a good few days to stew about it.

We HAD an awesome head teacher, who moved to another school. I sent her a message about the incident. There was a response from her saying, “That woman is just a sensitive control freak. Ignore her. If you quit, that school with have HUGE PROBLEMS.”

I’m feeling good about that.

I had a very long chat with my wife about what happened. She was very supportive and said that if I wasn’t being treated with some respect, she would understand if I wanted to quit and find another place to work when we got back from vacation.

I’m planning to tell my director in my meeting that if the coworker starts yelling again when I’m just doing my job while the director is present and my director won’t moderate the discussion or try to calm down my coworker, that will be my last day.

]]> By: Whitey http://blog.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2676 Whitey Sat, 09 Jun 2007 09:43:11 +0000 http://www.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2676 The teacher is out of control; but I'm with you, it's the director's behavior that is more upsetting. She must know that the problem came about because there is no clear policy on borrowing/sharing/returning books and that it is her job to determine what the policy should be. (Not to mention that she stood have stepped in as soon as one teacher started yelling at another. Jeez, talk about spineless.) Why not meet with her and ask her to clarify the book policy? You don't even have to bring the other teacher into the discussion. Is there a head teacher or manager at your school? A head Korean teacher? If so, you might ask that person to get involved, too. It must be hard to accept that your boss didn't defend you during the heated exchange. I know that would bother me. In my experience with Korean bosses, it's not really possilbe to say something like "I wish you would have..." when trying to get an explanation or apology from them. You might try an "If that happens again, would you..." and hope for at least an expression of regret on her part. As I'm sure you are aware, an apology is probably too much to expect as the old "saving face" comes into play. By the way, I've thought of printing t-shirts that read "Saving Face is for Wussies" (or "Sissies" or "Pussies") for distribution to foreigners in Korea. Would you buy one?^^ The teacher is out of control; but I’m with you, it’s the director’s behavior that is more upsetting. She must know that the problem came about because there is no clear policy on borrowing/sharing/returning books and that it is her job to determine what the policy should be. (Not to mention that she stood have stepped in as soon as one teacher started yelling at another. Jeez, talk about spineless.)

Why not meet with her and ask her to clarify the book policy? You don’t even have to bring the other teacher into the discussion.

Is there a head teacher or manager at your school? A head Korean teacher? If so, you might ask that person to get involved, too.

It must be hard to accept that your boss didn’t defend you during the heated exchange. I know that would bother me. In my experience with Korean bosses, it’s not really possilbe to say something like “I wish you would have…” when trying to get an explanation or apology from them. You might try an “If that happens again, would you…” and hope for at least an expression of regret on her part. As I’m sure you are aware, an apology is probably too much to expect as the old “saving face” comes into play.

By the way, I’ve thought of printing t-shirts that read “Saving Face is for Wussies” (or “Sissies” or “Pussies”) for distribution to foreigners in Korea. Would you buy one?^^

]]> By: gobfrey http://blog.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2675 gobfrey Fri, 08 Jun 2007 22:15:22 +0000 http://www.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2675 Hey, does that mean there's three months until you visit us? Hey, does that mean there’s three months until you visit us?

]]> By: gaijin http://blog.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2674 gaijin Fri, 08 Jun 2007 16:34:49 +0000 http://www.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2674 Just to add another view of "foreigners" living in Korea, here's a link to a Korea Blog from a black American's perspective. http://metropolitician.blogs.com/ Even includes podcasts. He doesn't pull any punches talking about his experiences, and brings quite an agenda to the table. He can be quite amusing, while taking pot-shots at the locals. :-) Just to add another view of “foreigners” living in Korea, here’s a link to a Korea Blog from a black American’s perspective.

http://metropolitician.blogs.com/

Even includes podcasts. He doesn’t pull any punches talking about his experiences, and brings quite an agenda to the table. He can be quite amusing, while taking pot-shots at the locals. :-)

]]> By: gaijin http://blog.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2673 gaijin Fri, 08 Jun 2007 15:03:51 +0000 http://www.torgodevil.com/archives/493#comment-2673 Shock! Horror! "Hankuk saram" playing the race card. Don't sweat it dude. I've been reading this blog long enough to recognize this story arc. Looks like we get this same rant every time a job change is pending. Only thing lacking is her side of the story. Heck, even Korean nationals who return to the motherland after living abroad are treated as "second class citizens". Wonder where guys from the midwest stand in that pecking order. ;-) Did I mention there's a new Hooters restaurant in Seoul? :-) I'm sure those "hankuk sarams" would be glad to listen to your sad tale, over a few beers. Just kidding. ....."FIGHTING" Shock! Horror! “Hankuk saram” playing the race card. Don’t sweat it dude. I’ve been reading this blog long enough to recognize this story arc. Looks like we get this same rant every time a job change is pending. Only thing lacking is her side of the story. Heck, even Korean nationals who return to the motherland after living abroad are treated as “second class citizens”. Wonder where guys from the midwest stand in that pecking order. ;-) Did I mention there’s a new Hooters restaurant in Seoul? :-) I’m sure those “hankuk sarams” would be glad to listen to your sad tale, over a few beers. Just kidding.

…..”FIGHTING”

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