::A Geek in Korea::

We had set aside the Colosseum specifically because of all the crowds we had seen at that location earlier. Trying to get into the place seemed like it was going to be a problem, so we set aside our morning to get in. Turns out we hit it right at the perfect time and strolled in with our passes. We didn’t see a person in front of us in line. By the time we got in, walked around, and made it to the second floor to look around, we saw the tours start to swarm around.

One of the Italian scams we were warned about were the Colosseum Gladiators. They are extremely friendly men, dressed up like a reject from a movie. Then, when they get you to take a picture with them, they ask for some amount of payment. We watched two gladiators work the crowd, getting people to take thier picture, then bothering them till they paid. People that annoy tourists for money should be shot on sight.

After that, we went to the Roman Forum. Considering all that was accomplished, built, and ruled here, these were some pretty lame ruins. We went up on the hill, looking down from the emperor’s palace ruins down onto the valley filled with ruins. Without a guide book and a map, you couldn’t tell what anything was. Even then, they were just stumps and fragments CRAWLING with people everywhere. I prefer ruins Cambodia style, devoid of people, and intact enough to tell what the hell it is.

From there, we went to the ultralame Capuchin Crypt. This was free, except for a “donation” to the cemetary. We paid in cents and STILL felt ripped off. There were artistically arranged bones from the monks. Chandeliers made of bones. It sounds more gruesome that it really was. It was only four brief, cramped rooms. NOT worth the effort to even find the place.

Our crypt tour continued. We went outside the city limits of Rome to go to the Christian catacombs. Before Rome turned into a Christian empire, the Christians buried their own on the outskirts of the city. We had to travel on a bus, then as buses whooshed past, squeeze ourselves down a road with no sidewalk until we reached the location. After all the adrenaline was forced out of us getting there, the entire scene was kind of dull.

The whole tour was just a trip around an underground maze. The element of danger was eliminated because we had a guide with us the entire way, and there were no Indiana Jones style traps trying to kill us. Remove the deadly traps, the bones, the cobwebs, and the darkness, and all you’ve got is some holes in rocks underground. There was some early Christian iconography, as well as some sarcophagus, but really, it wasn’t worth the effort either. Seems that people had been STEALING bones while on the tour, so they took all the bodies out of the crypt.

The Father that took us on the tour complained about low attendance….perhaps removing every reason to SEE the damn place was their first mistake? He did a sort of head count, asking where people were from. The majority of the tour was from the United States, with one other couple being from Australia. I raised my hand and said we were from South Korea.

“You’re not from South Korea.”

Duh hur hur hur, funny joke. I didn’t feel compelled to explain that I’ve been living there long enough that saying I’m from the United States while traveling seems dumb. “For all intents and purposes, I’ve lived there six years.”

“Are you married?”

“Yes, we are married.”

He literally JUMPED at this answer. This was NOT what he had expected. The Tour guide/priest had THOUGHT that he was going to be able to lecture us about traveling in sin or something.

“A Korean and an American. Wow, I knew there were G.I’s that would bring back their Korean brides from the war…” he stopped rambling.

Then, oddly, he started SPEAKING Korean to us. It turns out, he had lived in two areas in South Korea for a total of six years. He had a thick, weird accent, but he could speak Korean. Very odd, getting spoken to by an American priest who worked in Italy, in a Christian crypt, in Korean.

On the way out, he asked me if I spoke Korean myself. I assured him I did, and after that, we were back in daylight.

This morning we went to Tivoli, which is an hour outside of Rome. Fantastic fountains. Crappy waiters, horrible service, scammy sorts of restaurants.

Right now, we are killing time at the AWESOME Big Mama hostel before our trip to Bern, Switzerland tonight.