::A Geek in Korea::

Today my wife, aunt, and two cousins went to see the Van Gogh exhibition in Seoul’s art gallery. Ever since visiting the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, I’ve been a fan of Impressionism in general. We were going to see this art, despite the 6:50 AM train ride, the crowds, and everything else standing in our way. I had been talking about going for three months, and I finally got my chance to see some Van Gogh in Korea.

My wife and I had talked about museum manners and social norms the last time we had been in Seoul to see some art from the Louvre. I hate to stereotype and generalize, but from my experiences in museums, it’s clear there is a lack of understanding as to the proper behavior of people at an art exhibition in Korea.

Seoul, in general, is a twisted mass of people with several inches of body space writhing around with very little social grace. This might be acceptable in a place like a subway (actually, it’s not), but I was always taught that a museum is a place for quiet contemplation on the deeper meaning of art, the history and backgrounds of different cultures, and insights into the mind of the creators.

If this is what you expect at a museum in Korea, prepare to be flabbergasted. We arrived EARLY. We were in the first 100 people into the museum. There was a line, but it was totally acceptable by Seoul standards. People actually didn’t just swarm the door and push their way through! There was an actual order!

Off to the side of the line, there was a large plasma television playing video footage on a loop showing the proper way to stop, look at, and appreciate art. It featured people standing a certain distance away from the barriers, looking at the paintings thoughtfully, perhaps even pondering what the artist was trying to say. Then, when they had finished looking at the art, they’d move on to the next piece and start over.

Unfortunately this was off to the side of the line, and had no audio. No one paid any attention to it at all if people’s behavior in the museum itself was any indication.

When we arrived in the first gallery, there was still a line. Children instantly broke off from their parents and started playing tag and other games in the larger galleries while their parents read the displays and listened to the audio guides.

Some of the children viewed the guide ropes as playthings to hop on, over, and around. This got them a warning from the staff, but never the parents. I remember doing that as a kid when I went to boring historical sites. As long as the line kept moving, and I could see what I wanted, I didn’t care.

No pictures were permitted either. I actually saw a staff member cover up a visitors lens with their hands to stop someone from taking a shot of a painting. This was the strictest rule enforced in the entire museum. That’s fine. If they want to protect their art, or their contract, let them do what they need to enforce the rules.

Midway through the gallery, large groups of children were running around the gallery. As we worked around half a room, an entire class ran down the hallway and sat in the middle of the gallery’s floor. Their leader had a large microphone and speaker, and she talked about the paintings to the children.

The parents chaperoning the students walled off the children from the gallery by standing around them on three sides, and the rest of the visitors blocked the front as they tried to squeeze around the obstruction. The very reason the students were sitting there, the art, was the one thing they couldn’t see. They did, however, stop everyone else from enjoying being in a museum by being extremely loud.

I’m FINE with bringing children to a museum. I’m fine with bored children at museums! They are supposed to be bored at museums! That’s why children HATE art museums! However, you have to teach children that just because they want to run around all the time, certain places do not allow that sort of behavior.

Bringing large groups of students to art museums and then letting them run around and be as noisy as they want means that students do not learn the proper behavior of people in museums. Then, when they are adults, they don’t know that chatting endlessly on a phone in the middle of the museum is unacceptable. Social inertia. No one makes an effort to learn what they should be doing, so this haphazardness is passed onto the next generation as acceptable behavior.

Now that my wife has been to art galleries in Europe, even she found the behavior in Korean galleries to be unacceptable. You don’t have to be a snob to see that the behavior of people in a museum should not impact other visitor’s viewing of art. She said she wanted to complain about noisy tours. There was no excuse for using a standard microphone and speaker when quieter headset solutions are available. It’s just rude.

By the time we had departed the museum, the wait to get in the museum had increased about 500% . We were some of the lucky people in that the crowding was only minor compared to what it would be like for the rest of the day. I imagine the crowds only brought more bad behavior with them after waiting several hours for their chance to see the paintings.
All of this, however, paled to another rude little girl on the train ride home. There is an unspoken rule that states that train rides are supposed to be a time when people should be quiet enough not to disturb their neighbors. No one has to act like it’s a museum, but generally if people want to sleep, you should make an effort to be a little more quiet.

We got onto the train at 7 pm. It’s not a “sleeper” train, but the sun was down and a few people were snoring before we left the first terminal. We had been traveling at that point for 13 hours around Seoul shopping and whatnot. Every person in our party had looked forward to the train ride home as a time to sleep. We even had a chance to sleep for a stop or two before a pair of women brought their young children onto the train. These girls were probably 5 to 6 years old.

I knew we were in trouble when one girl stated to the other, “If I sleep now, I won’t be able to sleep later tonight. I’m not going to sleep the ENTIRE train ride!”

That’s probably true, but that’s not hear when a little kid sits a few seats behind you on the train right as you try to take a nap. I don’t care if a little girl wants to stay up to enjoy a train ride. I do care that this girl thought that the normal tone of voice on a train was 4x louder than ANYONE else on the train. Deaf old people on cell phones couldn’t out shout this little girl. She was the chattiest little girl, and she wanted to let EVERYONE else know that she didn’t give a damn if THEY wanted to sleep, she wasn’t having any of it.

She talked for 2 solid hours about the same stuff any other six year old girl would say. It wasn’t endearing. It was just non-stop blather. Her mother was getting eyeballs of death from every single person on the train near them that couldn’t sleep, and she didn’t do anything to tell the girl to just talk a little more quietly.

That’s just simple manners. Yeah, your child is probably a handful. You are probably really tired of telling her to behave well. However, as a parent you have to at least PRETEND like you can control your kid, or be embarrassed and TRY to accept the blame of all of those people you’ve annoyed for two solid hours with your rude child.

The attitude of “Children can do whatever they want, and I don’t need to discipline them even when many other people are inconvenienced by them, let alone apologize for their behavior” is bullshit. Parents that let their children do whatever they want need to be held accountable to some degree more than they are.

When I was walking around with my cousins in Seoul while my wife and aunt shopped, they got tired. I took it upon myself to get them someplace to rest, fed, and entertained while the rest of our party did what they needed to. Hanging out with some middle school kids isn’t the same as herding 6 year old children all day, but the principle is the same. When they started to whine, I negotiated a compromised that let everyone remain happy without annoying everyone else around us.

In fact, I used that time to buy them their first coffee ever, and we made a unique experience out of it deal by hanging out in their first coffee shop. Instead of being saddled with some annoyed kids that annoy people with their bad behavior, they got a shot of caffeine and were ready to go on the next leg of our trip. They had fun, did something new, and I didn’t have to hear any whining about it.

If I can do it, why can’t other people manage something like this?