::A Geek in Korea::

It didn’t take long to figure out that the new apartment is different than the last place we lived. It seems a move across the street to the other side of the block was all it took for people to change their behavior around us as a couple.

For example, I had been living in my last apartment for two years before one of the security guards realized it was my house. In our old apartment, we didn’t know any of our neighbors. We would get introduced occasionally, and in a few month’s time there would be someone new living near us. Except for the occasional drunk, no one said anything to me on the elevator, unless they were about to meet their grisly end by my 5 kg dog. We had grown used to the idea that no one was really paying attention to our comings and goings most of the time.

Now that we are remodeling our new apartment on a lower level of the building, everyone knows we are moving in soon. We’ve been working on the apartment daily since we bought it last Monday, and the past few days have had some circular saws and machinery at work remodeling the kitchen and putting up the wallpaper. If the neighbors were curious what we were up to, most of the time they could walk right in and see since we had the door open.

Today when we showed up to start cleaning the place for our eventual move, there were the two movers, as well as two strange women we had never seen before wandering around our place. At first we thought they were just part of the kitchen remodeling team, but when they figured out we were the owners they got really curious. The questions started out harmlessly enough, but soon turned ugly.

Slightly curious Woman 1: “So, how much was all of this remodeling work going to cost you?”

Us: “Uh, well, the wallpaper and flooring was X, and the lighting was Y. We painted the doors ourselves, and the kitchen was Z.”

Bolder Woman 2: “Wait, you paid all that money for everything, but painted the doors yourself to save money? How much money did you save?”

Us: “It was ten times cheaper to paint the doors ourselves. By saving that money we could partially pay to remodel the kitchen.”

A touch rude Woman 2: “You had to worry about saving money? You must have a big loan to buy this apartment, right?! You had to worry about money because it’s too expensive? Where is your husband from anyway?”

My somewhat puzzled wife: “He’s from the United States.”

Bordering on nosy Woman 2: “Where? Where is he from!”

My mildly annoyed wife: “Ohio.”

Mildly insulting Woman 2: “Oh, Ohio is a well known place. Do you teach English? Wait, can you even speak English? What college did you go to?”

My very annoyed wife: “Uh, I don’t know who you are, I don’t feel comfortable about telling you all this information. You are a total stranger who hasn’t even introduced herself. I don’t really think it’s any of your business where I went to college. Why are you asking me these questions?”

CRAZY I-can’t-believe-you-said-that Woman 2: “Oh, you must have gone to some poor college in the countryside. Some very bad place to study. You are ashamed of your college so you don’t want to tell me. That’s why you aren’t able to afford this apartment and took out a huge loan, right? Are you even really married? Maybe not.”

Us + Woman 1: (Stunned silence.)

Overjoyed Woman 2: “I’m your neighbor. I live on a different elevator line right over there. See you!”

Sorry Woman 1: “Uh, yeah, I just wanted to see the prices for remodeling. I wanted to remodel my apartment and wanted to get a quote because I liked your place… I had no idea…I’ve got to go…away…now.”

Shocked Us: “We’re going to get back to work now. Bye.”

***

We had gotten to work cleaning up different parts of the room. I returned to our old apartment to get a hose so I could start scrubbing the veranda. While I was gone, this very same nosy woman came back to the apartment and repeated her claim that we had a large loan to afford the apartment, and demanded to know exactly how much we had paid, how much debt we had, and all sorts of personal things.

She was greeted by more stunned silence by my wife. My wife was too polite to say, “Hey lady, fuck off and mind your own business, okay?” only because it was our neighbor and we’d be seeing her in the future enough that it might cause problems. We didn’t need to piss anyone off the weekend before we moved in, and pissing off a gossip is a terrible thing in Korea.

My wife told me the stuff she had started asking and I just gasped in wonder. Who comes into a stranger’s new house and accuses them of being poor, ignorant, and full of shame? We aren’t any of those things. Projecting inadequacy much? She had annoyed us enough that we closed the door and went back to work.

***

I had been put on “scrubbing the veranda clean” duty, and I was going about it like I normally did. Using the hose, I leaned out the window and squirted off the outside of the window. Then I alternated scrubbing and wiping down the dirt. I was at this for a good thirty minutes trying to clean the windows when the woman returned.

Nosy Neighbor: “Do you think that’s okay? Spraying the water like that when it’s not raining? Your downstairs neighbors will probably be complaining about that.”

Me: “If they are complaining, they haven’t said anything to me.”

We had met our downstairs neighbors earlier in the day. They had come to get the number of the last owner of the apartment. They wanted to get some compensation for water damage they claimed she had caused. They seemed nice enough. I didn’t think a little washing up would cause any harm, and if they did complain, I would wash their windows for them too.

Nosy Neighbor: “How about I make you a cup of coffee. Would that be alright? I’d bring it to your apartment…”

Me: “No! I don’t drink coffee. No, thank you! Bye!”

I found out later on that this lady was technically right, and that there was a rule about washing the outside of your windows. I then started cleaning the inside of the apartment to avoid her. This is the bad part about living on the second floor. You are in shouting distance of people walking by, and this person was persistent enough to bother us by hanging outside our place when we started locking the door. She was looking for an excuse to visit us now.

We’re two days away from moving in and we’re already annoyed by one of our neighbors? That has to be a record. I think I liked it better when everyone just ignored us.