::A Geek in Korea::

Unlike our last apartment, our current apartment posts times when services will be doing things in the building. According to a sign on the wall, there was going to be a preventative extermination spraying sometime this week. Since we didn’t want anyone to know we had pets, we needed a way to hide the evidence of our dog in a hurry. Since exterminators tend to show up at surprising times and also want to go in every room we needed a solution other than, "Throw the dog in the closet".

Just as I was about to leave for the afternoon, there was a knock on the door. The time had arrived. The plan was quickly set in place. First, I ran out and grabbed the dog. Next, I hid the box of dog supplies. The water bottle was put behind a box, but I don’t know if it mattered or not. Then I huddled inside the bathroom with the dog while my wife answered the door. I turned on the shower to hide the sound of the dog panting and walking around. Yoshi was happy to be in the bathroom and not get a bath.

I can’t imagine that we fooled anyone. Unless the exterminator thinks I drink from a dish and have problems that require diaper pads for the floor I’m guessing she could figure out that we had a pet. In that regard, the plan was probably pointless. We don’t know if she is required to tell the security guards something if she has to, or if the security guards even care about pets now that the warnings have been taken down.

It’s probably best that we did put Yoshi in the bathroom for the spraying, as he likes to sniff everything and everyone, and whatever this lady was putting down on the floors was not something we wanted him eating. Even if the exterminator didn’t care, we prevented her from having to fend of our dog’s curious nose.

There have been a few more twists and turns in the pet ownership drama of the past few weeks. We still have kept Yoshi. While the pet rules are still posted on the elevator wall, we’ve been taking him for walks by putting him in a bag and carrying him down. Only one square headed security guard ever says anything to us when we walk him. The same security guard that harassed us moving in, and the same guy that was telling us to get rid of our dog due to some unknown Korean pet ownership law and or "group vote".

On walks with Yoshi, my wife has been other pet owners were they live and if they know anything about pet ownership rules in our apartment. Summarizing what people say, if there is a law, no one else in the country enforces it except this particular security guard. Our apartment has a bad reputation from pet owners as being particularly strange about it’s pet enforcement. No one seemed to care, or thought it would be a big deal.

By chance we caught a taxi driver that happened to live in our apartment as well. We asked if he had pets, and he went into a long tirade about how he proudly fought against pet ownership in his apartment building. He was a "leader" for his particular apartment building in the complex, and that he had "decided" that there would be no dogs. We asked if it had been put up for an apartment wide vote like we had been told it had by security guard, and he said that it had not. In fact, he seemed to think that a vote wasn’t needed to tell people what they were and weren’t allowed to do in their apartment. Basically, he said that it was up to him and whatever his group decided.

From what was explained to me, these apartment leaders are self-important people that basically pick a cause to champion so they can justify their salary as they decide things in the apartment complex. Trivial stuff like "Garbage recycling day" or "How much to spend on cleaning per month" wouldn’t occupy their time or be worth paying someone to decide, so they need something else to do. They tend to be strictly conservative and prohibitive. The guy seemed like a total dick.

Anyway, since the only security guy that harasses me has lied about every single justification for  not having pets, and the entire issue hasn’t been voted on according to this "leader" guy we met, I’m not really worried anything is going to happen. We’re being as polite as possible while still owning a pet. We’re not going to have our fun spoiled by a bunch of undemocratic guys that can’t deal with dogs. Even if it was put up to a vote, we still won’t give up our pup. Resistance!

It turns out that we really lucked out when we chose a shih tzu as a pet. We didn’t know a thing going into this whole "pet ownership" deal, but we’ve been mostly happy with the result.

For one, the breed’s temperament is excellent, so Yoshi very rarely barks. The only time he barks is when we are coming home after he’s been alone for a long period of time and gets excited when he hears our keys in the door. Otherwise he’s almost completely silent. Sadly, he spends a lot of time alone when we both work. We feed him before we go, give him some ice and cold water to help him cool down, and make sure he has a place in the shade to relax on the veranda. Other than that, there is little else we can do for his comfort. He’s weathered the heat of this summer very well. I come home to give him fresh water and to feed him on my lunch break, but otherwise he’s alone for a while. He doesn’t destroy anything anymore.

When we take him for walks, he is fairly well behaved compared to some of the other dogs we see. Whenever children approach Yoshi, he sits down and always lets the children pet him. He licks and plays, so thankfully no one has been bitten. It still  make is nervous, so we try to keep a good eye on him and let the children only touch his back, not his face or ears.

Also, since shih tzu have hair and not fur, they don’t shed! I just learned this today. We never have to worry about our dog’s hair being everywhere in the house as long as we give him the occasional shave. That’s awesome.

We’ve found an audible punishment for him that gets him to behave immediately. We have two powerful ellipsoid shaped magnets, confiscated from children at one of our schools. When we have these two magnets attract each other, then "whine" and "chirp" like cicadas. Yoshi hates this sound and will immediately stop whatever it is he is doing and most likely leave the room to the safety of his veranda. Finding something that has such a reaction out of him is great, because it means we don’t need to keep threatening him or leaving him outside if he is naughty.

We’ve begun taking Yoshi for walks by carrying him in the elevator in an over-sized shopping bag. He hated the pet carrier, and we can fold up the shopping bag and sit on it as he romps around the park devouring his daily count of worms. This is more than what the other pet owners in the apartment do. It seems that our particular apartment has always been a little weird about pets, but the letters and warnings are all for show  to give pet owners a hard time. No one is really going to bother us as long as our dog is under control.

Yoshi has recently grown a little stubborn on walks. He’s got a skin allergy related to protein, so we can’t feed him regular snacks. Usually when he was stubborn and refused to walk, we would feed him a treat to keep him walking. Now when he stops, he doesn’t get anything, so he’s being temperamental and just refusing to walk if we leave the grass of the park. All he wants to do is lay in the grass and eat worms all day. Too bad the worms are protein that further aggravates his skin condition. We’ll need to find bite sized non-protein snacks to supplement his no-protein bones and chews.

All around the apartment are stray dogs and barking dogs locked up in apartments that aren’t been treated well enough. We’ve done our part to be responsible for our dog, and we’ve been lucky to get a breed that works well with the confines of a highly dense apartment complex.

It turns out that while the whole "law against pets in apartment building" angle the security guard was trying to feed us was absolute crap. There was a vote by the residents of this apartment. It either took place before we arrived, or after we moved in but were in the United States. They voted to ban pets (or perhaps dogs) in the building. This doesn’t stop anyone really from owning one, but it makes keeping our dog more of a headache. One of the security guards actually was like, "Well, you’ll be getting rid of it if you want to live here."

Uh, no, we won’t.

Security guards must deal with complaints all the time. I know there is a dog that barks constantly in the building. It’s not our dog, and if we didn’t take Yoshi out for walks like responsible people should, no one would even know there was a dog in the apartment at all. I can understand the fact that one barking dog pisses people off and makes all the dog owners look bad. Yoshi is part of the family now, so we can’t exactly "give him up". He’s not going anywhere.

My wife started on the campaign of bribery and placation that works on all security guards. She gave the guy on duty a helping of our watermelon to see if it would quell some of his anger when we took Yoshi out later. We’ll bribe him with some fruit, and if that doesn’t work, I’ll start taking pictures of them when they are asleep on duty. We’ll take care of this problem.

Anyway, we needed a few more items now that we’ve settled into our new place. The nearest superstore that isn’t Wal-Mart requires that we take an pedestrian overpass at least once, and it’s far enough that riding a bike cuts down the time considerably. We got ready for our trip, attacked the walkway ramps on our bikes, and headed over to do some shopping. We got through the madhouse in the store, secured our goodies, and even had an ice cream shake to cool down. Then a bolt of that special kind of summer lightning hit and the thunder boomed. We had two bikes, lots of stuff, and a small window of sunshine on the bridge we came from. We rode out just as the storm started dropping fat rain drops at the bike stand, and as we headed out we were riding on the edge of the storm. The cars that passed us were soaked like they had just been washed, and the cars in front of us were still dried. We rode like maniacs to keep from getting soaked.

As we crossed over the bridge, a man in a stroller was coming up the ramp as I got ready to descend. I had to wait, the rain approached, and I looked at my arm, which I am under doctors orders not to get wet to prevent yet another trip under the laser. The man had no umbrella, and I told him that the rain was coming in the direction he was heading. As my wife approached, he complimented me to her, telling her I had excellent Korean. Whatever man, get off the ramp and spare us getting wet.

We beat the storm back, but not by much. By the time we were locking our bikes back up, the storm was in full effect over our apartment. Our calm, cool dog, Yoshi, who used to be afraid of thunder, was waiting for us to come back, wagging  his tail and being quiet like we told him.

When I bought my dog, no one told me he was a cold blooded killer. All the people in my apartment know somehow, because when he gets into the elevator with me, they look as if I had just brought on a bear, and not a 3 kilogram lap dog. People actually retract in fear, grab their children and put their bodies in between the hunter and it’s pray. Their eyes say, "Take me, but spare my children!" as offer themselves up in sacrifice to my dog  when I walk down the sidewalk in front of my apartment.

It’s so bad, they’ve posted rules on the elevator door, stamped by the security guard.

The translation I was offered states that there was "some law" (that specific), that prevented dogs from living in apartment buildings and villas where other people live. They said there were people that felt that dogs were surprising them when the doors open to elevators, lunging at them. Also, that they defecate or urinate in the elevators, cause too much noise, and aren’t clean enough. It’s actually just selective hassling by "The Man" that I’m going to choose to ignore until someone says something to me directly.

Whoever owns the small bear cub posing as a dog that is pissing these people off does need to do something with their pet. My dog Yoshi is doing none of these things. He never barks. My dog gets more frequent cleanings than the elevator does, so I don’t think it’s us causing the problems. He never does anything wrong in the elevator. The only time he’s ever "lunged" out the door, the person that complained was standing directly in front of the door.

Anyone that stands directly in front of an elevator door that is opening and doesn’t expect anyone to come out is an idiot in the first place. The man made a bunch of tough guy "Fucking dog!" sorts of swears to look tough in front of his girlfriend, wife, or mistress, but honestly, he should have been doing the "Oh, I’ve got the vapors from that frightful dog!" routine the way he was acting. My dog weighed less than his man-purse.

Even if it is, Yoshi’s not going anywhere. The "posting of rules without actually addressing the problem" is the passive aggressive way that Korean people deal with problems that I can’t stand. If the security guards have a problem with the behavior of my dog specifically, they can either tell me directly, or I’ll just ignore anything on the walls. I’m a responsible pet owner who cleans up messes, keeps my dog fed and well attended to when possible, and doesn’t deserve getting dirty looks in elevators because someone wants to give all pet owners a hard time.

There are people in buildings that have barking dogs tI know, so perhaps this is a blanket sort of paper that covers everyone in the building. Perhaps others aren’t as responsible as I am when in the company of other people with my dog. I don’t know. I still shouldn’t have to deal with anyone else’s problems if they don’t apply to me.

It’s been a rather stressful week for Yoshi.

Yesterday, with the summer heat and rainy season occasionally making the veranda a rather warm humid place from time to time, we decided that having thick fur probably wasn’t making Yoshi comfortable. We decided to take him to the pet store where we bought him for a trimming. We’ve cut off all other business with the store, but they are located much closer than our vet, and I was pressed for time trying to get him there on my lunch break. They were booked solid until late into the evening, but eventually we got to get him shaved down. We opted for the extreme trim instead of the "bald shave" that many pet owners get here. Hairless dogs look freaky.

Yoshi fought like a champ against his first haircut, but the result was an uneven hairdo. His neck, legs, and belly all were shaved to different lengths because he struggled so much. They told us that if we want to have him shaved again, they’ll recommend that we knock him out with a shot so he can be shaved in his sleep. Considering the fact I don’t trust this pet store to even feed our dog correctly, the chance I’d let them inject him with medicine is extremely small.

Today we took him to our proper vet to have him "snipped". Behavioral modification through mutilation! We weren’t there, as the vet had things to do, so we dropped him off and did some other errands around town. The surgery only took ten minutes. The tests for antibodies that required several shots took three times as long.

I didn’t have the habit of personifying animals until I owned a dog. However, I can’t help but to think my dog is thinking poorly of me now every time he stares up to me with his dog collar on. At the moment, Yoshi doesn’t have the energy to do anything other than lay around and look nearly dead.

 
"Why me?"

"I thought you were cool."

I swear when I decided to take care of Yoshi, my descent into dog ownership was never going to sink this low. I had always thought that there was an barrier of pride that I had that would never allow me to do some things. For example, I never pictured myself as a person that would ever purchase, "Dog Clothes."

Yoshi: The "What have you done to me?" expression.

So what the the hell is my dog wearing then? Well, it seems that now whenever you purchase anything at a store, even dog food, you get small token nationalistic items such as this puppy t-shirt. We needed the food for him anyway, so we ended up getting the shirt for free. It’s got a soccer ball and the expression "Again 2002" on it, which happens to be the rallying cry for Korea this year for the World Cup. I don’t even have a World Cup shirt yet!

It’s not like I had done any fashion shopping. I got food and it came with the dog t-shirt. That counts for something. Also, I pretty much dressed him up for the sole purpose of taking that picture. By the time I had gotten an in-focus snapshot, he had already gotten one of his legs out of the sleeves. Seems Yoshi dislikes the shirt as much as I do. With the amount of fur he has, it’s probably no surprise the thing didn’t stay on long. He’ll probably only wear the T-shirt if we watch the World Cup with friends to root on the Korean National Team.

While I can no longer claim to be someone that doesn’t own "Dog Clothing", I can take solace that people I work with have gotten more expensive dog clothing custom tailored and refitted for fashion purposes. I’ve got to redefine my boundaries now that my dog has fashion options.

Yoshi!

Since today is a local election day in South Korea, everyone has the day off. My wife and I went to the voting booth early in the afternoon. She went to vote, I went to look. After she voted, she went over to her aunt’s house. Together with her mom and aunt, they prepared some of the grandmother’s maesil for juice later in the summer.  The wild maesil plums are put into a air tight jar with brown sugar and  white sugar and sealed for fifteen or more days. The resulting syrup will make a refreshing drink this summer when the temperatures get hot.

While they were preparing the seven jars for the summer, two cousins came over to play with Yoshi. They adore dogs, but their aunt doesn’t currently allow them to have one. They played with Yoshi, who took to them well. These are the first "new" people he’s gotten to play with since we took him home. They ran him around the veranda for a while. Then we got out Yoshi’s transport box, some food, cleaning supplies. We took the dog with us for a picnic at their father’s landscaping nursery in the country.

This was Yoshi’s first trip outside that wasn’t a trip to the vet. He still needs three shots to be allowed outside completely. We were careful about where he walked and what he could interact with since he wasn’t immunitized. Who knows how well we did.

We ate some very nice pork on a homemade grill out beneath the trees and sky. I’m not sure what it is with Koreans and barbaque grilling, but we had a ridiculous amount of meat. Two or three kilograms or more perhaps. They kept telling me to eat more and more, but eventually I got to the stage where I couldn’t even look at pork without cringing.  We put Yoshi back in the box for the night to keep him from being eaten by mosquitos. Everyone enjoyed peeking at the dog to see what he was doing. He seems to be popular with the relatives.

We got dropped off at our apartment and planned to wash the dog. I got deputized into shampoo and wash duty. Yoshi doesn’t fight too much, but he hates getting his face washed. For reasons unknown to me, my toothbrush was relagated to his "face brush". I get a new brush to myself, thankfully, and I made sure the old brush stays far away from the bathroom just in case.