I was talking to the husband of one of my old college friends. She became a teacher in her hometown after she graduated. She’s been working at the same school since then, and her husband made it clear that each year her students have gotten progressively worse. He said that because there is no discipline possible from teachers, and parents are either too busy or apathetic to keep their own children in line, his wife’s classes had decayed far past a reasonable level.
I joked that if parents started caring about their kids and would threaten to beat them like some of my student’s parents, maybe the students would act better. It’s not that I condone child abuse, it’s just that the parents that expect good grades and good behavior tend to be harder on their children. He agreed. He said that whenever the words, “Phone call to parents,” were uttered, he would always act better. While I didn’t face an abusive punishment from my parents, I didn’t want to face their wrath either, so if I was ever in a “call home” situation I knew I had better act better. He said that the students have gotten so used to calling everyone’s bluff that teachers don’t even attempt discipline anymore.
I contrast this with the story of something that happened when my wife visited her aunt. It seems that one of my wife’s cousins hadn’t been studying. He had been hiding his books around the house claiming to have lost them. He had failed several tests. He hadn’t been doing his homework. The aunt had been furious when she had gotten a call from a concerned teacher, and while my wife was present, took him into a private room for a little “attitude adjustment”. He got a few “behavior modification” taps with a ruler to the hands.
This left my wife in the awkward position of watching this boy get embarrassed and punished at the same time. My wife said that considering the money the parents spend on his education, he’s lucky they weren’t harder on him. She said she would have said something if they had touched they boy’s head, but there wasn’t anything besides a few sore knuckles. I’m sure the psychological scars are worse than any actual abuse he received.
While I don’t want lazy students in my class, it’s not often that I have to deal with what parents do to “motivate” their children. I wouldn’t want to be in that rather uncomfortable position of having to see a student or a relative physically punished by their parents even if they hadn’t been studying hard enough.
It’s a difference in culture that leaves me conflicted. Children do achieve a lot more here at much younger ages. They study harder. They do more work. They deal with monumental levels of stress better than I can. They also have less free time than most adults and hardly know what to do with unstructured free time. Their motivation, whether it be healthy praise from a job well done, or intimidation from a parent, does bear fruit. Would that still work in the American educational environment? I don’t know. I’ve thankfully never been in the position to see what American teachers put up with on a daily basis. I’m not sure that I could handle it.
