Since I spend the day as a human radio, reading and rereading in front of students to help their pronunciation, a case of the hiccups can be disastrous. It’s hard to maintain the proper pauses and flow to a sentence when you start gasping for air every few words. I had been eating a pear between classes as a snack and must have eaten too quickly, as I was fighting off hiccups on one of my classes.
One student shouted that I should, "Drink some water!" That is what I usually do, and I had nearly drown myself while sipping during my hiccup fit. This was not working.
Since all my students lack volume control, the next student also shouted that I should hold my breath for ten seconds or longer. I inflated my cheeks and waited, but they said I had to start over since I didn’t cover my nose as well. When I pointed out that I hadn’t been breathing through my nose, I spasmed again. Another cure, another failure.
Next came the weirdest solution I have ever heard for a hiccup cure. A student shouted, "Pull your tongue with your fingers! That will end your hiccups!"
According to a show on Korean television called "Sponge", this is the sure fire cure to all hiccups.
"Pull my tongue? What?" I asked.
The student demonstrated by squashing his tongue between his thumb and forefinger and quickly yanking downwards. It looked painful. Several students said they were willing to pull their own tongues, or might have been offering to pull mine for me. While most of these students looked sincere, I couldn’t help but think that asking someone to pull their own tongue was something like asking someone to give themselves a wedgie or poke themselves in the eye. Wait until they do it, then laugh!
I wiped off my hand, grabbed my tongue, gave it a little tug, then waited.
*Hiccup*
Damn it!
