I got invited to dinner. My wife was visiting her aunt who happens to be an excellent cook. She lives in a apartment complex nearby, so I got the call and decided to take the subway over to join them for dinner. I don’t mind going over there for dinner, because the food is excellent and everyone is nice to me, but there are some things that bother me.
When I am over at their house, my aunt and uncle pressure their kids to speak English to me. I totally don’t mind working with pidgin Korean and English to get my point across if need be, but they want me to practice with their kids. They are always pressuring the kids to have conversations with me. They want to give their kids a chance to speak with me, so it’s fine. I’d rather get some attention from the cousins than be ignored, certainly. Since they make it a big deal, the children are actually more shy as a result. The more shy they become, the more pressure is placed on them to speak English. I’d just like everyone to be comfortable.
At the same time they are getting pressured to speak English, I’m getting pressured to speak Korean with my relatives. My wife doesn’t want my aunt or uncle to feel uncomfortable when I talk, so she encourages me to speak Korean. Of course, I feel embarrassed at my childlike intonation and vocabulary. I’m around students all day, so I sound like one. Usually I’ll make someone laugh with a silly mistake in Korean, usually my wife, then I’ll switch to English.My wife gets stuck translating everything between both parties most of the time.
Today was particularly embarrassing when I got served kalchi, one of my favorite fish dishes. It was served with steamed potatoes and a sweet spicy sauce that was delicious. I really like this long silver fish, but the problem is there are tons of bones! I still haven’t mastered the technique of eating kalchi without having problems with bones. I made a mess of my area of the table.
So much so that my wife came over and started picking the bones out of my fish since she had finished eating. This did nothing to make me look like a competent person. Soon everyone at the table was watching me eat the food. I felt embarrassed, like a child that couldn’t manage to get the food into its mouth. This amused my relatives greatly.
I’m always being challenged when I meet relatives. I’m never sure how to act, or what they want me to do. I felt the same way in the United States, but there are more complicated issues here that sometimes make me feel helpless.
