::A Geek in Korea::

This post is a more in depth follow up for a comment I got from yesterday’s post.

Yesterday was our parent teacher conferences. The very first woman to arrive was the mother that was suspected of punishing her child so severely that he had panic attacks whenever anyone said the word “test”.  It turns out that the number of parents arriving was so heavily weighed in my coworker’s favor that I had to take the students I had taught for a single month, including her son, to make the meeting more timely. My coworkers and I had joked about what we would do if this woman would show up. Now we were not only meeting, but I was going to have to deal with her.

I know nothing other than what I found out in the quick interview. She was older than all the other mothers at the table. I don’t know if this boy has siblings, but his mother was easily the oldest in the group of parents I saw. She was properly dressed, and was the only person to have written notes for me and the Korean teacher during the interview.

I told her that while her son is excellent in class, tries hard, does his homework, and is one of the top students in class. I figure it’s better to break it to her slowly. Then I told her that he had a test anxiety problem unparalleled to anything I’ve ever seen. The Korean teacher confirmed my story by mentioning how every time he comes into the office, the first thing he asks is “Will we have a test?”, and that he’ll cry or act very upset when we tell him.

The mother said that at the beginning of the month her son was very stressed out because he was worried that he wasn’t going to be allowed to “level up” in our school. For some reason, this boy was under the impression that our selection process is so strict that no one getting less than perfect scores will be allowed to proceed. She claims that he had gotten stressed out and thought he was going to be left behind in the school and not learn with his friends.

In the entire school, we’re leaving 2 students in the same levels. We level 95% of our students every year. This boy was more likely to be bumped UP a level early than left behind. I don’t know if this is just an excuse, or something about the translation.

The woman said he’s very driven and just hates getting questions wrong. I know this is true, but I doubt the “vomit in terror” response is because he’s worried about his level. Whatever it might be, we said that over the course of the month, his test anxiety has decreased. We no longer have to pull him off the floor if there is a test. He doesn’t even collapse anymore!

The mother said that she was worried by how much he had been studying, so she’s been more lenient at home for the past few weeks. She said she was concerned that this leniency would translate into poor grades. She wanted to know what she could do to encourage him to study without stressing him out too much.

My Korean coworker handled this with a good suggestion. She told the mother to encourage her child to achieve, but when he got a question or two wrong, he should still get only praise. When he gets a perfect score, he can get an extra pat on the back and be spoiled. The woman gave a sort of “Huh, what an interesting idea. I’ve never thought of that, might give it a try”, sort of look.

Crisis averted. The boy was in class today and seems happy. There is no way any sort of direct confrontation would ever have done any good. At least if we can try to help getting positive reinforcement in place, there is a chance the boy will get over his test problems. If there has been any sort of change at home, I think it’s for the best at the moment.

Parent/Teacher conferences day was always something you looked forward to as a student. I don’t remember my teachers to be particularly enthusiastic about them, as it was nothing but a series of meetings with people. Now I too know that feeling of dreadful anticipation and the skill required in wording things so that you do not offend a sensitive person.

Our director called us in early to her seminar about the “vision” of the school next year. We were introduced at the beginning of each of the four seminars so that when the meeting broke up the parents would be able to find the right set of teachers to talk with about their children. Then we were excused and allowed to sit around for an hour while the director blathered on about something. We didn’t stick around for it.

While we were waiting for the parents of each group, we made a list of parents we would be facing and spent twenty minutes coming up with praise, or the best way to sugar coat our criticisms. These parents are the people that put food on our table, so keeping them happy while being honest about their son or daughter’s English ability was the order of the day. This can be a fine line.

For example, the first mother that I had to talk to had a very loud, enthusiastic son that failed every single speaking test given to him for months. How can a boy that talks 100% of the class fail a speaking test? He didn’t memorize his speaking homework. Who’s responsible for helping him practice outside of class? The very same mother I would be talking to in the meeting.

Awkward.

The most difficult consultation was when the absolute worst student in one set of classes had a mother drop in for only five minutes. He had failed every single written test, and had a very bad score from both Foreign and Korean teachers. The woman didn’t look pleased to hear he had gotten by in class by being as lazy as possible.

My director was looking very worried that I was basically trashing her son. Then I remembered that the last time I had given my speaking test, he had gotten a perfect sore. It was the only time he had shown effort the entire time for a month. I let her know that I was very impressed by his speaking on the test, even if he couldn’t write, and then went into the general “pander” mode of “more practice, more effort, more success.” My director gave me a relieved look that let me know I had handled the situation very well. I took her to the brink, made her worried, then given her a light of hope.

This was made worse because the meetings were done round table style, with all the other parents I would be meeting hearing all my comments. Korean manners dictate that harsh criticism would cause this person to be embarrassed in front of her peers, so anything you speak poorly of should be done indirectly, through subtle suggestions.

Of course, the Korean teacher who shares most of my students acted as a translator. Some of the students could grasp the gist of my comments, but others needed complete translations, which can lose something. My translator was very good at keeping the mothers happy, which generally keeping to what I was saying.

For every problem child I had to warn a mother about, there were also parents that I ran out of adjectives trying to heap praise on their children. Some of my favorite students in my class had siblings that were polar opposites. I would tell them how great their overachieving child was, then be shocked to find out that their brother or sister was a slacker in another class I had taught. This happened on multiple occasions.

The meetings only took a short time overall, but it tied me up for the entire afternoon. I had thought that it was going to be an easy day, but it was much more stressful than normal class. I can’t believe this was the first time any of my schools ever tried doing something like this before. I learned a little about some of my students that will help me teach them better too. It’s better for everyone now that we’ve had these meetings, and I think they’ll be repeated later in the year.

I played an epic word game with my Advanced class students today. My foreign coworker called in sick, leaving me to come in early and cover his classes. He had already covered half of the lesson I normally do in each class, so I had 25 minutes left to kill when I finished my lecture. The students asked if they could do something else, but I told them I had a new word game for them, and they would have a great time trying to figure it out.

I got started by stating: “You can read a book, but you can’t read a magazine.”

The game “Can and Can’t” is full of non-sequitur statements. The sentence itself isn’t meant to make sense factually, but does have to follow a single rule. The student’s job was to figure out what that rule was, and then be able to give me sample sentences that showed they understood that rule. Once the students got a grip on the concept, I got down to giving them a ton of examples.

“You can be killed, but you can’t be murdered.”

“You can wear mittens, but you can’t wear gloves.”

“You can shoot, but you can’t score.”

“You can go to a pool, but you can’t swim.”

The game was me speaking in these sorts of cryptic clues for about ten minutes, then I got some people started to try to crack the code. The first people that tried answering had no idea what to do. Some of the students got statements right, but didn’t know why.

Then, one of my brightest students spoke up, “You can wear a muffler, but not a neck tie.”

She had cracked the code! I had a huge grin on my face when I told her she was correct. The entire class gave her a double take and shouted in disbelief. I told students that cracked the code that they were forbidden from sharing the secret.

One of the students that makes it through about 50% of a class before taking a nap was the only other student to crack the code. While a bright girl cracking the code first was no surprise, to see a slacker get it second was maddening to this group of overachievers. Everyone in the class got really upset when the three of us started making up ridiculous sentences together and checking each other’s skills.

The boy said, “You can eat an apple, but not a watermelon. A banana would be okay too.”

The girl said, “No! No, bananas! You can eat apples, but not bananas!”

The rest of the class was in utter confusion, but I confirmed that the girl was correct.

I was going to walk out of the class without explaining it, but I knew that the peer pressure those two students faced was going to be too rough. The rest of the students said they wanted to learn the rule we were using so that they could torment my director with the same game in the next hour. The three of us then broke down and explained the rule.

The entire class went, “AH HA!” at the same time. I think it was a big success, but would have never worked if one of the students was bright enough to get it early. Otherwise I’d have looked like an utter madman.

Do you know this game? Post some sentences to see if you’ve got it right. I’ll confirm any comments that are correct.

For example, “You can comment, but you can’t type.”

Loving in order to love knows loves you because only it will not be able to love.

What?

Today was  the last day I’ll see my advanced students before the regular term begins sometime next week. We had an hour to kill because I had spaced out the material perfectly, but had scheduled time for a test that I didn’t have time to make (I arrived early to school, but the doors were locked. Totally not my fault.) Instead, I had a “debate” topic.

We chose the issue, “Is money the most important factor when choosing a job?” A lot of the students, when asked about their future plans in previous classes, expressed a desire to be filthy rich, or dictator of the world, if given the option. So, would they choose money above all else?

After going around the class, we made a list of things the students valued when choosing a job.

• Money got two votes.
• Following their dreams got a vote.
• Work Conditions got one vote.
• Safety got one vote.
• Helping society in a positive way got one vote.
• Having free time got one vote.
• Providing a comfortable retirement got one vote.
• Allowing for lots of sleep on the job got one vote. (Future Korean Apartment Security Guard.)

The students had never worked a job before, so I offered them some of my personal experiences when choosing jobs. I told them which of the factors they listed were on my list when I decided to choose renew my contract and continue teaching at their school.

I told them that while money was factor in choosing my job, the things that kept me working were working conditions, and helping society. I said that my job pays me comfortably, of course, and that since that wasn’t an issue at any of the other places I’d have chosen, I didn’t consider that the most important factor.

I told them that the most important factors were working conditions. I told them that when I was renewing my contract last year I was struggling at work because I had a fallout with one of the Korean teachers months before I was supposed to resign and I didn’t want to continue working with her. The students had no idea what I was talking about. I told them that one of the Korean teachers had refused to speak to me for several months straight because she was upset I had borrowed a book to make a test for a class.

They were HOWLING in laughter at the absurdity of a 3 month long teacher’s rift caused by borrowing a book. They had no idea that there was any sort of problem between us. I didn’t elaborate on anything other than that we didn’t get along, and that I was very happy to see her leave after I resigned my contract.

They didn’t say anything, but I think they were happy I stuck around while that lady left. She’s the one teacher that never had any middle school or adult students hanging around her desk chatting. I made sure to clear up that there were no more serious teaching problems at the school, and that everyone got along really well now that a certain teacher had left.

I also told them that if teaching English ever got to the point where it was doing more harm to students than help, I’d probably quit. I’m not talking theoretical post-modern “Teaching English is cultural warfare and indoctrination into international business enslavement” bullshit, but more how it directly impacts students lives. I teach several classes that can be test driven, but if my students never can enjoy the English they learn because they have to study for ridiculous tests, I’ll probably stop enjoying the classes too.

I love to teach because seeing someone’s eyes light up in excitement when they finally “get it” is awesome. If all I did was memorize things and have them spit it about out for an hour, I’d grow bored and move on. This is why I’d rather teach at a school that isn’t into sadism by assigning an unimaginable amount of work to students, then relishing at punishing the weaker students. I’ve had offers at those sorts of schools, and I turned them, and their money, down. (Several big chain schools operate in manners are barely above torture and abuse, if you ask me.)

I don’t know if they get it yet, but I think they’ll learn it’s not always about the money.

It’s all over the gaming Internet web sites. Mario Kart DS has it’s own television show in Korea now. People still act like it’s a surprise that Koreans watch video games on television. Entire generations of children are used to this. I’ve been watching Starcraft on television for seven years now. If things like ESPN Classics can exist, it should surprise no one that people will watch video games, even DS games, on the television.

The game show is on Champ! which might have the most annoying, least web standards complaint website in the history of bad Korean websites. I wasn’t able to link to the page for the show itself, if it even exists on their horrid page. From what I know, the game is called “Run&Run 마리오카트 DS”. Brave people can search for more info. I’ll be satisfied with that.

It seems there is an interview with the hosts to draw out as much time as possible, then a series of races. 6 players go head to head. I don’t know it is a one off show, or going to be a tournament. If I get a chance to see it, I’ll look out for it.

My students are CRAZY about Mario Kart, and the popularity of the DS has EXPLODED in the past year or so. I get challenged to races all the time now. Since Champ! is the cartoon and Japanese animation channel, I’m sure their target audience is in the new DS target market. I hope this sort of trend continues for other Nintendo products. A Smash Brother’s league would be astoundingly awesome on TV. (Watching others play via the Internet is already a feature of the game, but a tournament on Korean television would be awesome.)

Peanut Butter & Jelly Meme

This is my childhood recipe for PB&J:

Peanut butter: Chunky. It’s all we ever had at home.

Jelly: No.

Bread: Whatever is usually on hand, usually nutrition free White.

Crust: on. (What are you? A baby?)

Cut: no.

Prepartion: Take a piece of American cheese and put it on the bread. Take a spoon and put on a thick layer of peanut butter on top of the American cheese. The peanut butter should be at least as thick as the bread. Then, slap down a piece of American process cheese to contain the massive amounts of peanut butter from spilling out. Add another piece of bread.

**WARNING** Because of the cheese, bread, and massive amounts of peanut butter sticking together in your mouth, you WILL choke to death if you do not eat this sandwich with at least two glasses of milk.

I had called some friends to see what they were up to this weekend. They mentioned a trip to a console gaming room, and then a trip to the movie theater to see Cloverfield. I had planned on seeing that movie, so I was totally in.

The console gaming room was in Rodeo Town department store not far from where I work. Since this is my most frequented shopping place, I had actually seen the place we were headed to weeks before and had checked it out. I had passed it up because there wasn’t any kind of game I’d have been willing to play on a lunchbreak.

Our group of four had four hours to kill before the film. We got hooked up with four different screens, four different Xbox 360’s, and some copies of Call of Duty 4. I’ve never played a game on the Xbox before, I don’t play modern shooters, and I don’t really like team based death match stuff, but this game was a blast.

There are different soldiers with different attributes, weapons, and abilities, and they all change the game in subtle ways. I was a touch overwhelmed with the controls for the first hour or so, but once I adjusted to the playstyle and weapons I felt like I was having a good time. I don’t have the patience for sniping though.

The Cloverfield movie was really interesting and different. I went in completely unspoiled. I didn’t know more than what was on the poster.

The monster and the “meta-story” that was going on in the background was interesting, and I’d be willing to follow another set of survivors through whatever was happening to find out more of what was going on. The problem is that the way the story was set up, no one else DID know what was going on.

The shaky camera wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be, but occasionally it stretched my belief to think someone would hold on and continue filming despite the obvious danger. There were several parts that left me scratching my head, as people walking around unarmed, expecting to be attacked when things are readily available to defend themselves with is an annoying oversight.

My feeling of the movie is that it belongs to the “Youtube” generation, and is something you experience as much as you watch. It’s fundamentally different to everything I’ve seen for a long time, the same way that “Survivor” was fundamentally different than everything else on television 7 or 8 years ago. I’m sure it’s going to inspire a lot of other movies in similar styles, which I’m not sure is going to be good for movies ultimately. There are only so many “Blair Witch Projects” I’m willing to watch. The Koreans in the theater let out a groan when the movie ended, and a lot of people complained of headaches because of the subtitles. I don’t think I could have watched this with subtitles.

I liked it a lot more than I expected I would. If I had been spoiled to the plot, or had been following the viral video stuff, I’d probably have felt disappointed. Since I didn’t have any expectations whatsoever, I was pleasantly surprised.

With all the work, social gatherings, and other things I’ve been up to recently, my chances to sit down and play a new video game for a few days straight have been rather limited. I will have the entire Lunar New Year holiday to do nothing but laze around and play games, so I ordered something in anticipation.

Wii Sports has still got an appeal, as I am flirting with Pro on several games. Keeping my ranking for Bowling is tough, as I have a high score of 210+ now. My tennis skills are in the 700 range. I can kick someone’s ass in Boxing and get a knock out, but STILL have my points decline. Grrr. I can’t win a game of Baseball anymore that the pitchers throw inside at 700 level.

Zack and Wiki has offically been put on the back burner. I’ll echo what the guys over at “Totally Rad Show” said that vocalized my exact opinion of the game in their review. “This game punishes you for experimentation too much. If you make a mistake, it kills you, and that means you don’t want to experiment. That’s bad for this kind of game.”  They also have the same “explanation” menu when you use a tool 20 times, which breaks the immersion. I KNOW how to use the tool, give me an option to TURN THAT OFF PLEASE.

Nags against my current games aside, Mario Galaxy is in transit to remove any drought in something new until Brawl. Several people have left comments saying, “Hey, wait, why haven’t you played this yet?”

To be honest, I didn’t order it because I suck BADLY at 3d platformers. I beat Mario 64 on the DS with the minimum number of stars required, and a lot of cursing. I like traditional 2D gameplay mechanics, and I’m a little worried that adding “Relative Gravity” as a gameplay mechanic might make my mind explode. I know it’ll be a good game, despite being burned on Super Mario Sunshine, a Mario game I couldn’t find enough interest in to beat (which is rare). Also, No More Heroes wasn’t available to order with a promise of being here on time.

It took some arm twisting with the wife, but I’ve got it in the mail. It should be here in time for the holiday before the mail stops being delivered. I’ll have five days or so to play it to my heart’s content. Yay! Traditional Korean holidays!

While I had the foresight to take home evaluations before the deadline loomed, I was alone in getting things done. My coworkers, Korean and foreign, were working like crazy. I was still only half done with my own evaluations when I arrived at work. My hour preparing was spent quickly making a quiz, then getting back to more drudgery of copying scores and writing vaguely helpful positive commentary.

When the students started to arrive later after lunch, I asked for the door to stay closed, and that students be barred entrance to the office for the rest of the day. This is a play out of my old psychopathic coworkers book, but the students love to suck our attention away. While 90% of the time the kids are the reason teaching is so great, when you are under a paper deadline, you can’t have them in your hair.

The office door being locked was so unusual the students thought there was something wrong. They’d come by and jiggle the lock, try to get our attention by knocking on the glass, and even barge in, only to be tossed out. One of us had to act like a bouncer, because the students all wanted in. I even had to turn down helping someone prepare for the quiz I had prepared because I had too much work to do.

Eventually, I handed off all my classes to others when I got all my comments and scores recorded. The Korean teachers have more work to do because they still have to copy over scores for their books, and get their comments written too. They have to present it to a director, who signs off on it, and get it in the hands of the students tomorrow.

I have a feeling that some of the students that had blown off my speaking tests all year before I developed my new “method” are really going to regret seeing their reports this year. The number of “Did not attempt” or “Zero” scores was up dramatically this time around. A lot more of my students had a significant increase in their scores, so I don’t think I’m being an unreasonable teacher.

The scores hold up a undeniable truth: The more effort students do to prepare for class at home, the better they do in EVERYTHING in class, even things they can’t directly prepare for. Homework might be a time sucking bitch goddess, but those that do it, do well in class overall.