::A Geek in Korea::

Yesterday my director said that we’d have a meeting earlier in the day on Friday to learn a new computer system. We’re required by contract to arrive an hour before class. According to my director we’d have to arrive 2.5 hours early to see the demonstration from the people setting up the program.

I told her that my contract already has an hour for them to do the meeting, and there was no reason to show up that early. Last time they arrived, they wasted everyone’s time because their program didn’t work, and I wasn’t going to come in 2.5 hours early to sit around and watch them struggle with the computer system.

I asked when they were showing up, and when they’d be ready. They weren’t going to be the same thing, so why do we have to be here if we’d be sitting around doing nothing? The director said she’d call the office in Seoul to see when they’d arrive, and how much time it might take to set everything up. If it did take a while to set up, we’d be allowed to arrive later.

She returned to the office and said we only needed to arrive 30 minutes earlier than normal. I saved everyone a lot of time.

Since I had fought for the change in schedule, I found it important to arrive on time today. When I was coming up in the elevator, the man installing the programs rode up with me. Seems that they had been a lot later than expected.

Even though I had arrived 30 minutes early for this meeting, we STILL waited around for 30 minutes before they had everything ready. We would have wasted 2 hours if I hadn’t complained about their dumb schedule!

Anyway, the program is really pretty cool, but we only saw the student’s side of the program. Because there is no history to track, and no scores to compare, they haven’t opened the teacher’s part of the program yet.

So, while we know what the students will be doing when they sign up, we don’t know how to sign up, how to check the grades, or anything to administer our school. They’ve planned meetings for all of that. We’ll have a meeting every week for the next month as they roll out features. Even though the program is well made, it’s still work in progress.

If I have to sit through more of these “don’t keep to a schedule” meetings where nothing happens, I’m going to get very annoyed.

Well, more specifically, the Cinematic Titanic crew ( Joel, Tv’s Frank, and Josh who nows goes by J. Elvis) got interviewed by Jesse Thorn from The Sound of Young America. It talks about Joel’s early career, how MST3k got started, as well as the creative process they go through riffing a movie. They also mention Rifftrax and the fans reaction to both projects.

The Sound of Young America (which is AWESOME), and Ex-MST3k guys on a podcast? I literally hooted in glee when I saw that in the queue. Custom niche entertainment for the win!

 Panoba-esu

It’s not false advertising. This stuff puts a bullseye on your sinus cavities. It feels like someone shoved a cork up my nose. No drips from my “snot cold” at all.

The side affect of this medication seems to be dizziness and sleepiness. I discovered this in class after I took the medication after lunch. I got half way through my class and noticed that I wasn’t feeling a constant drip in my nose. This was replaced with the sensation of a light spring being placed under my feet when I walked, and a deep urge to rest.

Since I have to eat before I take this medicine, I can’t use it more than three times a day according to the pharmacist. I don’t know how I could use it more, because every time I do I want to curl up in a ball and sleep the rest of the day.

This is a two birds with one stone sort of problem. I couldn’t sleep this week because of my nose, and because I couldn’t sleep, I wasn’t recovering fast enough. Now I hope to sleep all night and wake up without a scratchy sensitive nose and dry lips from mouth-breathing all day.

Ahhh the post dinner dose is kicking in. I’m off to la la land.

When I came into class, I blew my nose into a handkerchief. This was to prevent my sinus pressure buildup from blasting my nose of my face and scarring children for life. Judging by their reactions however, you’d think I’d have been committing some sort of lewd act.

I remember having that creepy teacher that used to use tissues, but would then roll them up and put them in her sleeve as she talked to the class. I’m not that guy. I’m doing this because I don’t want to blast a hole in a mile of tissues, and this is better for everyone.

Korean children NEVER ever use anything but tissues (which is usually just toilet paper) to blow their nose. Korean students actually prefer to share their snot with everyone around the classroom by expelling it at great speeds from uncovered noses. I guess they learn the skill of “covering their mouths” and “using tissues” sometime later in high school, as I have yet to meet a student that does it with any regularity.

Yet I get called “dirty” for using a handkerchief. Some students even brought me tissues and dropped them on their table, as if giving me a clue that my snot rag was something they couldn’t accept. I’m sorry children, this is just something I’ll be needing for a few days while my head swells up with fluids for no real reason. I don’t like it much either.

Anyway, after this great bit of hacking and sneezing from my bright, agitated nose, a girl says, “Do you have a cold?” in Korean. I was not in the mood for the “painfully obvious question” game today. I think I might have given her a nasty look, but I was suffering and she deserved it for that remark.

I mean, if you are going to ask a painfully simple and obvious question, at least make it in English so I can understand why you’d ask it that way. Sherlock Holmes you aren’t.

I know that blowing your nose at any meal is considered highly rude in Korea, but I don’t know why. Sometimes you’ve just got to let loose.

There has been a couple of students spreading around a nasty cough. It started last week, and you just roll the dice to see if you end up getting coughed on in class. I started to come down with a sore throat this weekend. If I am going to get sick is always my first symptom.

I took it easy this weekend, and even got a long nap in on Sunday. This of course caused me to stay up late into Sunday evening, unable to sleep, bored out of my mind. By the time I did get some sleep, I had thrown off any chance of actually being rested for today at school.

Feeling like you are slipping into illness and about to have a very painful amount of talking to do is not how a teacher wants to start a day. My coworker declared that he had felt a cold coming on last week, but he said he felt great today. By random chance, we got a gift of some cold remedies as a gift from a parent today. My coworker turned down the medicine, but I asked for anything they had available to keep fighting off the sore throat waiting for me.

My first three classes are storybook stuff where I need to read, the students model, then I listen to them read and fix their pronunciation. This requires loud, clear reading. No time to rest. By the end of these classes I had a nice, swelling headache and a raspy tone to my voice.

My fourth class, thankfully, was assigned a speaking test last week. I had no inkling that I would be sick when I assigned that test on Friday.  I used this speaking test as a way to rest my voice. The students were supposed to explain their opinions on the topic of “Elderly People in Nursing Homes.” No one was prepared, and no one cared about the topic. I brought the director in to complain about their sloth. I’m too annoyed to risk my voice yelling at them for being lazy I bring in someone else to do it for me. Irony? I graded their tests and got a chance to rest.

My last two classes are smaller and more personal, so I wasn’t forced to work that hard to keep them under control. We even had a spirited debate in the last class with high school students. I’m going to take it easy for the next few days and I hope I can recover without being over medicated or having too nasty a time.

Further conforming to those internet stereotypes, I went to see Juno yesterday. I had heard a lot of praise coming from NPR and some podcasts. I didn’t expect a movie with a plot such as “Quirky Midwest teen gets pregnant, hilarity ensues” to come over to Korea. There hasn’t been anything showing in theaters worth watching in ages.

However, this is around the time when there is a flurry of Oscar nominated movies all competing in theaters at the same time. I don’t follow the Oscars, and I don’t care who wins, but a diverse set of movies coming to Korea that are decent? It’s about damn time. This will continue for a few weeks, then we’ll go back to the same old crap.

Anyway, we saw Juno. There were only about ten people in the theater. There was a group of Korean woman that spoke fluent English, us, and a few couples. The group of other English speakers was laughing a lot more than anyone else. I was laughing hard enough a few times that I got shushed by my wife. This killed me:

Juno MacGuff: Your little girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in art class yesterday.
Paulie Bleeker: Katrina’s not my girlfriend alright? And I doubt she gave you the stinkeye that’s just how her face looks, you know? That’s just her face.
(Cuts to a girl that has a perfect “stinkeye” look on her face staring at them in the distance.)

I don’t think that the translators did a very good job of bringing out the flowing slang of teenage life. Juno without the dialog is missing a lot. Both my wife and I enjoyed the film regardless of any barriers of language though.

Everyone I know that teaches in Korea played a game of Scrabble with students from time to time. I haven’t played this in for a while due to our school’s “no game” policy. Whenever I did play Scrabble, I’d get my ass kicked by students.

It’s not because I am a terrible player. It’s just that when I teach I value helping other players and learning more than winning. I’ll frequently tell students long words that will hand them the game even at the expense of using tiles I need on the board. I’m there to teach them new words and spelling, so if I throw a game to help a student win, at least I’m still getting paid to play Scrabble.

I threw down the Scrabble gauntlet via email with a few of my buddies. Scrabulous is an online version of Scrabble completely free. The best part of this service is that you can play live, or by email. That way a group of friends can play a casual game at their leisure. It keeps track of all the legal moves, tiles, and everything else for you. It even uses the official Scrabble dictionaries to keep people from cheating on their words.

One of my friends is a Scrabble master, and he’s been kick my ass. We’re on the honor system NOT to use an anagram program, or google for new words. You can only check spelling. This is how I intend to keep playing. I’ve already learned a few words too. It’s dead simple to set up a game, it doesn’t require any sort of log-in, and it doesn’t spam your email account with excessive messages. I’m really very surprised at the elegance of it.

Now if I could only score a few points to WIN a game from time to time.

I’ve been called to duty to answer the question: What part of the “White People Stereotype” do I live up to? I’ve been reading the blog “Stuff White People Like” for a few weeks, so it’s funny that I got meme-tagged for it by a friend. I had actually considered blogging about it without even being asked to.

It’s SCARY accurate how “White” I am according to their website. Let me go through the list:

#71 Being the only white person around

Yes. I live in Asia, and I totally do this way more than I should.

#64 Recycling

I went home to visit my parents and got into a discussion with relatives about recycling accounting for about 95% of my waste disposal in Korea. (We recycle food, plastics, glass, paper, and cardboard here.) A few of my relatives told me they have the option to recycle, but didn’t out of laziness. I held back from releasing my almighty wrath of whiteness on them.

#63 Expensive Sandwiches

I can go for a sub from time to time, but really expensive sandwiches? No, not very much these days. I’m starting to get past sandwiches as meals.

#62 Knowing what’s best for poor people

If I’m guilty of this, I’d very, very sorry.

#61 Bicycles

I love riding bikes, but I can’t do it very often. I have a cheap bike, and I would never, ever brag about it.

#59 Natural Medicine

I’ve never taken natural medicine before arriving in Korea. My wife has an encyclopedic knowledge of every know food based remedy for a disease. I’ve taken Chinese medicine. It works about 50% of the time. I would probably try a herbal cure, but if it didn’t work, I’d be off to the hospital.

#58 Japan

I’ve been to Japan. I went to geek-central Tokyo as a sort of “Video game Hadj”. I have a non-romanticized view of a big city that has a lot of weird stuff in it. (Shrug) I like Korea better.

#55 Apologies

My wife told me to stop apologizing for everything I did when we first got married. Sorry about that.

Top Ten Hip Hop Songs White People Love

I like almost every song on this list. Seriously. These are awesome in an ironic way. (see #50)

#53 Dogs

Yes, I love my dog very much. It’s totally a “child proxy” to an alarming degree.

#51 Living by the water

I’ve LOVE to live near the water. I’d absolutely LOVE to.

#50 Irony

Irony? Yeah, I GUESS that’s cool. Sure, whatever.

#46 The Sunday New York Times

If I had access to the Sunday New York times, I’d basically be entertained for a week, not just Sunday. Plus, I listen to podcasts of just the HEADLINES of this newspaper daily.

#45 Asian Fusion Food

Actually, I’ve got enough of a spine to like the REAL stuff. Fusion stuff is for pansies.

#44 Public Radio

I don’t have an mp3 player for music. NPR owns my ears 50% of the time I’m walking alone outside the house any day of the week. Public radio gives me the much needed exposure to American culture I lack since I don’t watch television.

#38 Arrested Development

I LOVE this show. Seriously. SO much. MAN. If loving this show makes me white, I’m the whitest dude on Earth, because this is a fantastic thing in every meaning of the word.

#37 Renovations

My family always was working on our house. Part of my childhood.

#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report

I watch every episode of both of these shows whenever possible. I quote it at work too.

#28 Not Having a TV

I HAVE a TV, only for Wii, and my wife’s shows. Other than MegaTV or gaming, I don’t turn it on. It sorta counts.

#25 David Sedaris

The quote about listing David Sedaris as a favorite author is EXACTLY what I have done in the past. I laughed for five minutes after I read that post. This is me.

#21 Writer’s Workshops

I secretly would love to be a writer.

#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture

I write about Korea all the time, but I never claim to know about it definitively. I’ve probably come across this way a few times to people I’ve met.

#19 Traveling

Have I been to Europe? Check. TWICE in fact. Have I gone to Africa and remote Asian countries to one-up people? Hell yes. My brother can’t say he’s been to Cambodia yet. I’ve got countries yet to see that I want to add to my list to bring our travels into parity. Yes, I travel just for stories and bragging rights.

#14 Having Black Friends

Anyone is welcome in the group of foreigners I hang out with. I hang out with people all over the world. I don’t consider skin color when making friends, white, black, or whatever.

#13 Tea

Teas I drink whenever: Earl Grey (Picard HO!), Green tea from Bosung which is my favorite, Green tea OTHER regions in Korea, Chinese Dragon tea, Jasmine tea, Onul Cha, Corn tea, Barley tea, and about a dozen others made from various roots, herbs, and flowers, and trees in Korea. I love tea.

#11 Asian Girls

I’m married to one. Not for any of the reasons listed on the site however.

#10 Wes Anderson movies

Only partially. I liked Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums. The rest I haven’t seen, or thought were average on the whole.

#8 Barack Obama

Totally.

#7 Diversity

This too. But not the superficial “Oh, look how easy it is to get different food” sort of way. Living in a homogeneous culture has made me aware of how a difference of opinion is sometimes a good thing.

#5 Farmers Markets

We shop at the farmer market that rolls into our apartment for fresh fruit. I don’t holier than thou about it though. Cheap fruit I don’t have to lug from the supermarket is just easier.

#2 Religions that their parents don’t belong to

I guess. (Shrug) Not out of spite.

In summary: Most of these are dead on. I’m not even ashamed of it. I don’t actively try to perpetuate stereotypes, and I don’t consider race in making decisions as far as I know. If I’m some sort of walking bag of white guy stereotypes, so be it. I’m just doing what I like, and if the things I enjoy lump me in a group of similar people, I don’t give a damn WHAT basis I’ve been categorized.

The title of this blog itself “A Geek in Korea” is a way of poking a hole in a stereotype while still owning and addressing it. I’m just me.

Our school director told us that for the month of February, we’d be using a series of books popularized in Seoul. They were focuses on TOEFL IBT, which is my specialty in the school for middle school and upper level students. The difference was we’d be starting this with elementary school students, and that we’d only have a month to finish the entire book.

Any logic involved in this decision wasn’t run by me first, let me assure you. The book she chose seemed decent, if we had twice the time to teach it, it might even be “moderately good”. I should learn my lesson about judging books…

On the very first day, the VERY first set of examples had a typographical error. The teacher’s answers has mistakes. Sometimes questions don’t correspond to anything in the text, as if they edited the book heavily and didn’t correct all the subsequent changes. There are really lame pattern exercises that waste students time. The other material would be suited for a class twice the length I have to teach, so I spend most of the time skipping pages and assigning it for homework.

Today, the publisher of the book came to show us the “Online” portion of the book. This was completely unannounced. I had set aside time to grade papers, as I needed to turn them in before the secretary ran out of things to hand back to students. This guy shows up and does a demo on the school’s computers. Instead of doing it with one computer and the rest of us watching his tutorial, he tries to have us all log into his system and try it for himself. Instead of a quick five minute demo, I lose 20 minutes of paper grading time. Not a nice start to my day.

I admire the effort of creating an online component to an otherwise subpar book, but this was a huge waste of time. His demo didn’t work. He wanted us to record the sample dialogs for the students to listen to. I’m not sure, but I think that would be the book PUBLISHERS responsibility, not mine. I didn’t see any cash being offered as an enticement to get me to do voice work. I’m not offering my voice to some random shady guy that tells me to record something for him. Also, if FOUR teachers are supposed to record in a room right next to each other, how will that even be comprehensible to a listener? Think about the limitations of the system a little bit please?

His website to show off what the student would do to submit an answer didn’t work. There is no way for us to know what he was going to do with any of that information, and no way for US to utilize or grade the materials either.Maybe there was, but once he started blaming the slow computer connection on what was clearly a poorly designed website, I got tired of his excuses. If you don’t have a working demo ready, don’t call a meeting. Don’t these people have ANY business sense?

I took up the issue of the very poor editing and typographical errors in his book. He gave me a smarmy answer about how they’d catch and fix the errors. I wish I had kept up with my hobby of catching the errors in the book and circling them in red pen. Then I would have had something to throw at his head when he said this. Claiming to improve future editions is fine and dandy, but seeing as I never intend to EVER choose this book series again, it’s moot.

However, I think the “program” has a little more lasting power than I knew about before today. I’m a little nervous some sort of deal has made them a partner to our school. Our school’s logo is now featured on their site, and if that means I’m going to have to continue to work with this awful program I’m going to be a bit annoyed. I haven’t seen any advanced copies of the next book in the series to see if it gets better, but I really want to hold onto the autonomy that I usually am given to choose books at our school.