A few days ago, we got a call from my mother-in-law, who wanted to know if we’d be going to Grandma’s house for Lunar New Year. We used the standard excuse that we can’t bring Yoshi to family events because we don’t trust our relatives.
Yoshi has to stay on a protein free diet to avoid costly allergy shots, and he also can’t stay outside the house at night. He’s not a dog we’d leave outside to freeze. We can’t spend two or three days away from Yoshi, as he needs to be in a cage when we are out of the house in winter, and he needs his walks. Grandma just doesn’t understand the concept of “dogs as pets”, being a country woman through and through. She still raises them as a food source, which is another reason we’d never bring a dog to her house.
This is only a half truth to avoid having to go visit the very prying, very nosy, downright rude extended relatives we don’t like. We have nothing against Grandma (blunt though she may be) or our mother-in-law that would prevent us from spending time with them otherwise if some of the other relatives weren’t invited. My mother-in-law was not disappointed when she passed on the message we wouldn’t be showing up, although she gets along better with them than we do.
She called Grandma to say she wouldn’t be able to attend the Lunar New Year gathering with the extended relatives either. Her excuse? My wife and I were going to be spending time at her house. This is true. We did plan to go over and spend time with them for a meal. We won’t spend the night because we live in the same city and that’d be a bother for everyone.
We get free days otherwise wasted with rude extended relatives in the country. My mother-in-law avoids days of cooking for thankless relatives, a long drive, and spending lots of money for people bowing to her during Lunar New Year. It’s a Win-Win for everyone.
Except Grandma. But she almost always comes to visit us during Korean holidays. Usually, Grandma says some terse words about my foreigner ways when I make some sort of cultural faux pas due to honorifics, then leaves as quickly as she arrives. She’s fine with me being in the family, but doesn’t really understand what I do, or how I live. All she wants is for me to take care of my wife, and however I accomplish that goal is fine with her. Lucky me. That’s my plan too.
