When I came into class, I blew my nose into a handkerchief. This was to prevent my sinus pressure buildup from blasting my nose of my face and scarring children for life. Judging by their reactions however, you’d think I’d have been committing some sort of lewd act.

I remember having that creepy teacher that used to use tissues, but would then roll them up and put them in her sleeve as she talked to the class. I’m not that guy. I’m doing this because I don’t want to blast a hole in a mile of tissues, and this is better for everyone.

Korean children NEVER ever use anything but tissues (which is usually just toilet paper) to blow their nose. Korean students actually prefer to share their snot with everyone around the classroom by expelling it at great speeds from uncovered noses. I guess they learn the skill of “covering their mouths” and “using tissues” sometime later in high school, as I have yet to meet a student that does it with any regularity.

Yet I get called “dirty” for using a handkerchief. Some students even brought me tissues and dropped them on their table, as if giving me a clue that my snot rag was something they couldn’t accept. I’m sorry children, this is just something I’ll be needing for a few days while my head swells up with fluids for no real reason. I don’t like it much either.

Anyway, after this great bit of hacking and sneezing from my bright, agitated nose, a girl says, “Do you have a cold?” in Korean. I was not in the mood for the “painfully obvious question” game today. I think I might have given her a nasty look, but I was suffering and she deserved it for that remark.

I mean, if you are going to ask a painfully simple and obvious question, at least make it in English so I can understand why you’d ask it that way. Sherlock Holmes you aren’t.

I know that blowing your nose at any meal is considered highly rude in Korea, but I don’t know why. Sometimes you’ve just got to let loose.