My pants waist button was hanging on by a thread sometime last week. I really liked that pair of pants for being cool and comfortable, so my awesome wife fixed the button for me. I was wearing the pants for the first time since she had fixed the button, and had made it through the entire day without any problems. She did a great job repairing the pants, so the button was snug and secure.
Then, getting on the subway, I felt the button break. The eyes of the button had given way, and my pants were now completely unsupported. I made a quick break for the bench on the subway and grabbed a seat before a grandmother could sit down. This is a major violation of the seat protocols on the subway, and the ladies let me know I was expected to get up by crowding me. She called over all her friends on the subway, who weren’t talking to me, but were sitting around me like they expected me to get up at any time. Truth was, I’d be leaving in four stops, so I could just keep seated. I didn’t want my pants falling down and embarrassing myself.
I had to do a sort of “Oh, where is that change in my pocket?” sort of hustle to the turnstile as I held up my pants. I discerned that the mp3 player, phone, and wallet in my pockets were only accelerating the pants wanting to fall, so I tried to palm as many of those items in one had while trying to walk and keep my pants up in the other. Luckily, I live only a block away from the apartment and no one noticed my odd stride…or at least they didn’t say anything.
